Dear Virginia,

Note to Virginia Giuffre

Trigger alert: mentions sexual violence and suicide, but not in detail.

Photo by author

I’m so sad that you, who looked so lovely and spoke so honestly and courageously, are not here in the physical anymore. That whatever horrible, awful, unimaginable, but somehow conceivable traumas you went through may have crushed your physical body (but not your Spirit!)

I am so sorry this world took so long to hear your account and that of the other women who were girls when this started, this abuse and trafficking.

And, if you can see from the heavenly sphere now, I hope you can witness the willingness of the women'you’ve inspired to courageously stand up. Saw them raise their arms in Congress when asked who had not received justice as yet. And witness to the legislation under your name, to further the passionate cause you championed, the bill “Virginia’s Law” to eradicate the statute of limitations and limitations of jurisdiction for survivors of sexual violence and abuse.

Virginia, I’ve written more to you about the lack of justice involved in the Epstein and Maxwell case, but I’ll leave it out - enough sadness. I want to talk to you where you are now. I want to share the message I heard that leads me to wonder what you are experiencing.

Notes by author

Many years ago, I sat in a rocky, empty lot between two mansions in San Pedro, California, on cliffs overlooking the Pacific Ocean, journaling.

Disappointments, betrayals, and traumas regarding men surged out in red ink over the pages of my journal, until my pen screetched, and shouted: No! Don’t kill me! NOOOOO!!! Words I could not shout at the time of the assault

Why was this all coming up at once? It wasn’t fair, I felt. It was almost unbearable.

It was the day before I was to have a female surgery. I had postponed it for a few years because I was in protective denial for a long time, until I realized it was triggering PTSD from a rape decades before, when I was 18. You probably understand that it is hard to admit this, but I take courage from you and your “sister survivors” that it’s important to reinforce for the people reading, and especially women or men survivors of sexual abuse, that such violence is not the survivors’ shame.

It was late afternoon when I stood at the sink at home washing with a yellow sponge with gritty green on the opposite side and lots of detergent the front and back of a new vintage tea plate rimmed in pink roses. As my eyes stared at the bubbles, I heard inside, “There’s a special place in heaven for women who have been raped.”

How bizarre, I thought. But later, as an ironic dare to myself, I decided to write an essay based on that almost amusing sentence. The essay grew into a novel. Some years and drafts later, there was a moment while I wrote a marketing piece for the book, when this blared through my pen: “Do you have any idea how much love and support there is for women who’ve been raped, who’ve endured sexual violence?” The message permeated the space like an overhead speaker announcing at an airport terminal that the plane of Reality was arriving at Gate 9.

I see you, Virginia, being welcomed to the next world with so much love and garlands of flowers, the likes of which, the colors of which, and the scents of which you have never experienced before, like plumerias on steroids. I see you flying on butterfly soul wings among the saintly heroines, embracing children and girls in the heavens with warmth, strength, and blessings.

I see you praying for women on the earth, your heart messages emerging in luscious streams to protect, prevent, and defend women and girls, as well as men and boys, from sexual abuse and from trafficking. I see you being beloved by the Creator for voicing the most foundational virtue: truthfulness, notwithstanding the risks involved (and loved for much more).

I imagine you are destined for service right away, yet after thanks and love for you echo through the spheres.

I love you,

Claudia

For help: in the U.S.:

• RAINN Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Hotline 800-656-4673, Emergency: 609-258-3310

• Suicide or Crisis Hotline: Call/text 988

• National Human Trafficking Hotline 1-888-373-7888

• Los Angeles County’s CAST anonymous, non-governmental, non-police hotline for those forced to engage in any activity where they cannot leave:

  1-888-539-2373 Text HELP or INFO to BeFree (233733), castla.org

• https://share.princeton.edu/support-services/resources. List of support resources about sexual violence, including for men and people with disabilities